Friday, July 27, 2012
I'm trying to find a word for our new life aboard the one boat we have loved at first sight.
Exciting is too vague and rosy, complete is too finished, dream come true suggests more of the happily ever after scenario that is unrealistic really. Every feeling and its accompanied word feels like Cinderella's shoe- too small! And then I got it, - integration. Yes that is where we are at. We are at the step of bringing together all the dreams, plans, tears, and laughs, into a fullness that could only be called whole.
This process, of integration, for it feels like a process, has taken us from the heights of celebration and the colors of joy, love and freedom, to the lows of fear and insecurity. Since the momentous sale of Tara , we have explored the landscape of our inner and outer selves, questioning our motivations and ambitions. What do we really want to do now?
A lot of people have all kinds of suggestions and advice for us. A lot of you think we should go cruising, while others believe we should buy a house while the prices are low. Both of those sound reasonable and if we were considering things from the point of view of reasonableness we might be swayed in those directions. We, however, are considering things from the scenic view of the mountaintop of our heart, where the rising sun leads us towards higher and often less "reasonable" ambitions. Same as it ever was, with the difference measured only in paper.
Whatever we do will not be done out of fear or insecurity of the future. Wherever we go we will not be seeking self gratification but working for the gratification of LIFE!
Someone once told us "First figure out what you want, then figure out how to get it"
We have followed those words, and added some of our own... " figure out what you DON'T want and avoid it."